Those Who Play with Fire Shall be Burned, pt. 1
by LadySerenity1
Summary: Cloud discovers flammable hairspray, and Red discovers the flammability of his tail.


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Characters/logo © Square™ and Squaresoft™ entertainment.

Those Who Play with Fire Shall be Burned 

Pt. 1

'Twas another bright, idle day in the resort town of Costa Del Sol™. Like, what else is new? The many tourists were lounging lazily on the sandy beach, the waves crashing softly on white shore. Hojo™ was the center of attention to many of the beach babes, and was enjoying this immensely.

Hey, wait! He's dead! Uhmm... so scratch that last sentence. It never happened, kay? So now that we're back on track (maybe), the team formerly known as AVALANCHE™ were currently residing in Cloud™'s spacious, luxurious, large, comfortable… (you get the picture!) lodge. 

So anyyyhow, Cloud™ was intently spritzing another can of Aqua Net™ hair spray onto his super large, pointy blond spikes™. All right! Jeez. We'll stop ™ing everything!! Happy? Good. 

His Mako eyes glowing brightly, the ex-Sephiroth ("SEPHY-SAMA!" Auto yelled, and Ray groaned.) follower decided to turn the back of the can and read the label. Look Ma, Cloud's doing something smart! Sure, honey. Uh.. Back to the story. You DO wanna read the story, right? RIGHT? Oookay. 

As Clod..er..Cloud was reading the label-in-question, he noticed the warning on it. "Do… not… use… near… open… FLAME!" Clod ("CLOUD, AUTO!" Ray yelled at her fellow author. "Jeez…" Auto said in response.) Cloud ("CLOD!" "CLOUD!" "CLOUD!" "CLOD!" "Glad you agree." "Hmph." Ray pouted.) sounded out painfully. Tired out the little side notes yet? Thought so. Back to the story (again). 

So proud of himself that he was actually able to read a _whole _sentence, Cloudy-boy ran over to the nearest person. Which, unfortunatly, was Red XIII. The lion-like ("He's a DOG!" Auto screeched. "No he's not," Ray taunted. "He has a mane!" "He howls at the moon!" "He has a mane!" "He _howls_ at the moon! How many _cats _howl at the moon, Ray?" "He has a _mane! _How many _dogs_ have a mane, Auto?") animal yawned quietly ("Not a _word _about cat-naps, Ray.") and looked up at Clud ("Oh, no…"). "Yes, Cloud?" He said softly.

"Red! Red! Lookielookielookie!!" Cloud exclaimed happily, jumping up and down, barely missing stomping on Nanaki's tail as he did so. "I READ a whole sentence, Red!" Cloud then giggled. "Hey!! That rhymed.. sorta!" 

The beast licked his chops drowsily and smiled half-heartedly. "That's nice, Cloud." Cloud, who was bent over and inspecting Red's tail, giggled again. "What did it say?"

"On my hair spray," he paused for a moment, to try to catch Red's tail between his hands, "it said not to use near open flame! See?" He grabbed the hair spray bottle and 'opened fire' half of the contents of the can onto the flaming tail. "Whee! Hey! Wait a minute! Is my hair s'posed to do that too? Lookie! My hair's just like Red's tail!!" Skippity, skippity, skip. (Auto giggled. "I love torturing Clod.. Er… Cloud!")

Red sighed and hung his head. The poor bloke. (Cloud lovers... Don't kill us!! Please?) The beast heard Yuffie laughing her arse off while Tifa was screaming "WATER!" and Cloud was still screaming "LOOKIT ME!"

"Aerith help us all…" He murmured to himself, just as Cait Sith came bouncing into the room, the hyperactive black cat sitting on top of the white mog. 

"Heya buddy!" Cait Sith grinned. "Want me ta' read yer fortune?" 

"Sure…" Red sighed and stood up slowly, tail twitching back and forth. 

"Goody!" Cait squealed, and began to rock back and forth at brisk pace. "You will find great fortune. Lucky color: Puce." The robotic cat blinked. "Strange."

Nanaki groaned and twitched his tail again. Closing his eyes, he would have rubbed his temples, if possible. "Hey! Hey! EEP!" He heard Cait screeching through his megaphone. Opening his eyes quite quickly, he saw what looked a giant, flaming marshmellow. ("Sorta like what Ray's marshmellow's look like after she gets done with 'em." "Yeppers!") The cat/dog (Auto sighed and banged her head on the keyboard as Ray began to sing the "Cat-Dog" theme song.) then realized it was his doing that Cait Sith was now a… giant, flaming marshmellow.

Eh heh. Eh heh. "Ice," Red muttered and cast the first-level spell, decided against summoning Levaithan. Didn't want to wreck the house. He hated the outside heat. Smirking silently ("How _else _do you smirk, Auto?" Ray sighed.), the cat-animal thingy-ma-bob glanced down at the large, writhing black mass now lying on the carpet. If only he could do the same to Yuffie… 'Nice to dream,' he thought to himself. ("I LIKE Yuffie," Auto huffed and crossed her arms.) 

"My tail is a WEAPON! HAHAHAHAHA!!" Cid and Barret looked in at Red from the room where they were currently playing either Poker or Blackjack. Who cares? Not me. ("I don't!" Ray exclaimed.)


End file.
